It’s almost that time. The time to really start a new chapter in my life.
Granted I have already moved out of my parent’s house, got a second job and pay all my own bills. But starting school…. Now that’s what’s really going to get me to my life goals.
Yet, I have a sunken feeling of uncertainty. Am I ready for this next chapter? What if I fail and am then just back where I started…working dead end jobs for minimum wage. What if I get there and realize my love for social work has diminished and with it so have my goals? What if I just never get anywhere?
Trying to balance my finances at the moment, I realize that no matter how many hours I work a week, I am never going to be able to do everything I want. How am I supposed to pay for rent, a new car and a trip to Boston all within the next few months? My checks never seem to resemble the amount of work I feel I put in.
How can I go weeks without a day off yet still be barely scrapping by?
How am I ever supposed to be able to sit down and relax when I know I could and should be working to save up for the expensive schooling I am about to put myself through?
So many thoughts race through my head without a single thing to comfort me. Maybe I will get through graduate school without too much stress. Maybe I will be able to find a cheap car. Maybe I will be able to find a great job that I love. But there are too many maybes in the world. I want a guarantee. And I don’t seem to have any of those right now.
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