The Doormat Friend

I know my last post and multiple posts have been about friendship.  But hey, it's something quite important I'd say. So why not.

     I have come to a very startling realization in the past couple of days.  I have always known that I am often someone to be pushed around and walked on.  The doormat friend seems to be an appropriate title.  It is not something that I am proud of, but I often laughed about it along with my friends as I completed the tasks they asked.  Laughter often made such situations easier, being as I wasn't planning on changing.  It didn't seem that I could.
  
    My recent realization has been that in being a doormat friend and never questioning the neglect of my friends, I have in turn created less meaningful and valued relationships.  I never voiced how I felt after being ditched or blown off or just forgotten.  As I see now, I didn't do so out of fear that my anger would "scare" my friends away.  Yet, in viewing my friendships as something to be so easily destroyed, I created weaker friendships.  The people that I have valued the most and tip-toed around the most, in hopes of keeping around longer, no longer treat me with respect.  I can't help but think that assertiveness in my friendships earlier on could have made them something that they just are not anymore.
  
    I'd like to think that this realization to the effects of being a doormat has on my friendships would inspire a new me.  Yet, there is a certain ease and lack of confrontation that comes with being a doormat friend.  Something I'm just not sure I can give up.  Only time will tell.

*As a sidenote, this post is not a personal attack on any friend or person in my life.  It is also not saying that all of my friends neglect me or walk all over me.  I have so many beautiful, wonderful friends that I greatly appreciate :) It is merely thoughts that come from a compilation of friends throughout my life. I love you all :)*

the good old "friend date"

     Lately, I have been chatting with a close friend who shall remain anonymous for no reason at all ;) about making new friends.  It's an odd time and life.  I am not in school, still at the same old job... and lacking friends and the places to meet friends (to put it nicely haha). When I was younger, I remember seeing people at this stage of their life.  I always thought it was quite odd...friends came naturally through school, sports and mutual friends.

     Yet, now here I am wondering what the best way to ask new friends or about to be friends on what may be termed a "date"....at least that's sure what it feels like.  When did it become so difficult to ask someone to coffee or lunch?  It's embarrassing really (haha).

     But now I finally understand that with age comes an increased focus and busyness in one's own life and less time for "horseplay".  Truth is.. I thoroughly enjoy a life full of random jokes, adventures and close friends.  I like knowing that I can call someone and they will be there...ready and willing to hang out.

     I feel quite pathetic as I write this.  Yet, I truly believe that this is a stage that everyone enters in life.  So if you are laughing at me right now, don't laugh too hard... in time it shall pass (fingers crossed!)  In the mean time, I shall be getting up the courage to ask random people out for a cup of coffee :) Wish me luck!

Love is in the air...as is my money.

     Ahh the time of love.....Valentine's Day.  Not really my favorite holiday... at all. Not for the lack of a romantic life.  More from the lack of funds.  Yet, I decided to splurge this year.  I took my "boy" on a day of adventures!  It was an entire day filled with random activities that were a complete surprise to him.

     The adventures and element of surprise (even though it wasn't for me) added quite a fun spark to the relationship...one that can sometimes be lost after dating for awhile.  Sometimes we (maybe just me) get so caught up in a routine.  And even though this routine may consist of things that I enjoy, such as chatting at coffee houses and eating tasty food, it's still a routine.  Breaking this routine reminds us of all the things out there that we may not be doing, but still can.

     Although, I spent more than I had wanted to...much more, it was probably the best Valentine's day ever (even though it wasn't on the actual day). It definitely made me want to do more fun stuff and much more often.  Maybe next time I will just have to make it a cheaper adventure :) haha.