just a little update :)

Leaving Kirksville in a little over a month!
Not really wanting to pack everything back up, but I guess I see no choice unless I want to be possessionless for awhile.
Now I just have to decide if I want to stay in St. Louis, go to Argentina or France, move to Portland or Chicago or just do it all.
Oh life. There's too much to do and all at the same time!

I can't decide whether to thank you or hit you.

Dear Overly Cheery Customer Service Worker,
You spend your days smiling, waving and making the peppiest announcements known to man.  Although I'm sure the customers enjoy your pep, I just can't seem to decide.  Your loud and exaggerated announcements every two minutes make me want to set that small back room with the loud speaker on fire.  Yet, I can't help but like you when you only ever greet me with a "hellllllllo".  Your intentions are too good and too pure.
So let's end this with a "Damn you Overly Cheery Customer Service Worker" for causing me this inability to decide my definite feelings about you.


Sincerely,
Disgruntled/Thankful Employee

The Job Hunt

Oh what an unfortunate experience... the job hunt that is.
I am currently searching for a part time internship, as well as a full time job in Portland.
Although it should be easier to be unpaid help for three months, it's not proving itself so.
Constant checking of the email for responses from different organizations gets annoying quite fast.
Especially when the majority of the people don't normally respond anyhow.
Thankfully, I'm three for three this past week.
Not so thankfully, they won't really know if they need me until January.
That doesn't give me much certainty to go off of,
Which leaves me a little uptight and unsure.
I may be stuck in Portland without a job and rent that's too expensive.
But hey, that's the adventure called Life, right?

Utopia

I've been wanting to move to Portland so I started corresponding with my mom's cousin who lives there.  Here's his description of Portland:

"I am so glad you are considering moving to Portland. It is a beautiful city with a lot of good neighborhoods. The city is divided into 5 sections, north, northwest, southwest, southeast and northeast. The Willamette River divides the city from east to west...The climate here is temperate. We do get a fair amount of rain but it usually isn’t the downpour type. You can go about you business without much incontinence. You get the change of seasons but without the extreme temperatures. Great fall and spring due to all the trees. The city is environmentally conscience. People here like their coffee, music and a great bookstore which we have. Salmon, wine, microbrews, every imaginable berry and fresh product are staples here. Gardening, biking, running, hiking and fishing are among some of the interests here as well." 

Is this my kind of place or what?

Oh decisions..

To move or not to move?
That is the current question.


To search for new adventures,
new friends, new memories.
Or to pass it up for comfort,
stability, repetition.


If I don't seize the day and finally take chances,
my dreams may never come true.


I have always dreamed of traveling,
meeting new and wonderful people,
and living a spontaneous life.


How easily it seems I could give it up
for the opposite of what I wanted,
a predictable and easily mapped out lifestyle.


To move or not to move?

I am a strong, confident person...or am I?

Why do the things that people say affect us so much?
Or shall I say affect me so much.
Often times, criticisms of others are meant to do two different things
To hurt, a direct attack on the person we are, or provide some sort of guidance.
Logically, we must dismiss the hurtful criticisms
and look at the helpful criticisms with open eyes.
Does not doing so mean that we have a poor image of ourself?
Low self esteem?
That even the slightest negative statement makes us question ourselves?
And does the affect these criticisms have on us depend on our relationship with it's owner?
At the old age of twenty two, I feel confident in myself and, most of the time, my relationships.
Yet, I still find myself brought to a halt when hearing things about myself that I do not believe to be true.
Am I unable to accept the helpful suggestions of those close to me?
Or am I being attacked?

Thriftiness

I love thrift store shopping especially in the dear town of Kirksville.  There's always something interesting. Even if it's not aesthetically pleasing, it brings about a giggle or pleasant feeling.  Because of my recent success at thrift stores I wrote this little diddle.


The magical journeys of thrift store shoppers
as they search through the past possessions of some mysterious being
trying to guess the memories the objects hold
and looking for memories of their own.
Finding value in that which was often devalued
and obviously de-owned  by it's previous holders.
Handing over a hodge podge of change and crinkled bills
and walking away with a new treasure in hand
and a smile on their face.